Most of us grew up being measured by what we accomplished. Whether it was making good grades, or simply pleasing our parents or teachers, almost all of us got the message that our praise, and therefore our value came from what we did or how we pleased others.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with accomplishment and/or doing for others. I’m just suggesting that we should’t measure our worth or value based upon these accomplishments, or by how others perceive us.

Instead, I suggest we adopt more of an internal (versus external) locus of evaluation where we are measuring our worth based upon who we are, not just what we do. In other words, what are the qualities and characteristics that we bring to life? Are we caring, conscientious, and kind? Do we have a good sense of humor, are we good listeners, are we passionate and compassionate, curious, and quick learners? Do we have high integrity, do we treat others with respect, do we take responsibility for the quality of work we do, etc.?

If so, then we are worthy based upon who we are. Of course, as we bring these purposeful qualities and characteristics to what we do, (our job, relationships, friendships, family, etc.) we will do everything we do better, which means that this focus on bringing our best to life is a gift to everyone that we encounter.

If this appeals to you, I suggest that you create a list of twenty qualities and characteristics of you at your best. If you have trouble coming up with twenty, feel free to ask your friends and family. Once you have created this list, it will be important to put it on your phone, or some place where you can read it every day.

Further, I suggest that you consult your list prior to beginning the day, going to work or school, coming home, starting a project, etc., and choose the qualities and characteristics you want to bring to each situation. After a while, this “bringing your best to life” will become a habit, and you will be forever free of the fear of being “not enough.”

~ All the best, Dr. Bill

In addition to being named Speaker of the Year for organizations in both the United States and Canada, Dr. Bill Crawford holds a masters degree and PhD in psychology from the University of Houston. He is also a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and organizational consultant. Over the last 40 + years, he has created more than 4,500 presentations for such organizations as T-Mobile, Shell, The American Medical Association, PBS and many other organizations and professional associations, both nationally and internationally. In addition, his two PBS specials on stress and communication have been seen by more than 15 million people, and he has been quoted as an expert in such diverse publications as The New York Times, Entrepreneur, The Chicago Tribune, Investor’s Business Daily, and Working Mother, just to name a few.