The Neuroscience of Control
To be clear, I’m not saying that we should try to control everything and everyone around us. In fact, it is this need to control that is responsible for a tremendous amount of stress, frustration, and anxiety today. What I am saying is that when we make situations that are outside of our control (other people, getting a certain job, our “to do” list, etc.) the most important thing in our lives, we will also be setting ourselves up for stress and frustration.
The key here is the word “most.” Certainly family is important, but we don’t always have control of them. Those things we want to accomplish are important, but how many times has something gotten in the way of you getting things done? The same goes for getting a certain job, grade, getting praise from some authority figure, etc.
The bottom line is that it’s what we designate as “most” important that matters. Therefore, I suggest that we choose something that is both within our control AND helps us achieve our goals and create the life we want.
For me, those “somethings” are the qualities and characteristics that we bring to life.
For example, what if we decide that being clear, confident, creative, and caring are the qualities we want to be able to access, regardless of the situation, and that this is our highest purpose (or the most important thing in our life)? The good news is that these qualities can be within our control (if we learn how to access a specific part of the brain), AND they will also help us become successful in achieving what we want.
This is what I teach in my books, seminars, and in my work with individuals. Rather than being defined by the people and situations we encounter (traffic makes me crazy), or frustrated by the fact that people won’t do what we want, we can make defining who we are our highest purpose, and begin to practice bringing these qualities and characteristics to life in a way we would teach or recommend to someone we love.
If you feel this would be a worthwhile endeavor for you and/or your organization, I encourage you to contact me. Just go to www.BillCrawfordPhD.com and hit the contact button, and we can begin to help you regain control of your life by making your highest purpose, or the most important thing in your life something that is within your control.
~ All the best, Dr. Bill